As a larger woman, it is easier in a lot of ways to no longer want male attention. Even if I was 50 pounds lighter, I would still have the same issues if I was dating: Am I pretty/skinny/sexy enough? I had less self-esteem as a skinnier woman and felt I was still not good enough or the “cellulite” I thought i had on my tights still made me less than. The lady, who is the thinner stripper, said what a lot of women feel. This woman is probably every man’s ideal being a pretty stripper yet her mate still is seeking out an ideal that does not include her.

Being a larger woman has been liberating. I do not have to only order a salad when I go out to try to prove to the Male Arrogant Eye that I will never become obese. I can enjoy who I am as a person without worrying about the idiocy that comes from dating and relationships. For the first time in my life, I love myself. I have been without a date or a mate for 2 years. I doubt I would ever even date again. It is the adage of how women can be larger and happy when they are not trying to impress a man.

Thin ladies, remember that life brings on unexpected changes. Bodies change due to age or health. Traumatic experiences can bring on weight gain. Love yourself before you give yourself to any man. Sex before marriage….those relationships often end even for the loveliest looking of women and the ladies will have tons of emotional baggage regardless of her body type.

Sexual selection provides organisms with adaptations related to mating. For male mammals, which have a relatively fast reproduction rate, sexual selection leads to adaptations that help them compete for females. For female mammals, with a relatively slow reproduction rate, sexual selection leads to choosiness, which helps females select higher quality mates.

It’s only been in the last few decades that food is cheap and plentiful and our bodies and minds haven’t had time to adjust. We tone and groom ourselves to fit the profile of a healthy primitive to “trick” Mother Nature. We dress and show behaviors that advertise our best evolutionary traits (health, childbearing ability, intelligence, etc.) and conceal our flaws (height, weight, etc). That’s why cosmetics and high heels work-they make you look healthier to a potential mate.

You can’t fight evolution, if you want to get along; you’ve got to go along.

I’m 20 years old, the first time I had sex I was 18 years old. I’ve dated the same girl for nearly 3 years now, she’s wonderful -inside, but currently not out.

When we first met, she exercised daily (jogs, yoga, etc.) and at 5 foot 3 she weighed 110 lbs -and boy did she look fit. Her body is what first attracted me, yes, that is how we work on a cellular level; But it was her mind that captivated me, and still to this day I love her.

I do not love the lack of respect she is showing to her own body however.

In the past year she has put on 80lbs, making her weigh more than I do. I myself am 6 foot 1, 185 lbs and work every other day at maintaining my body weight and staying in shape. She being much shorter than I and now weighing more than I… Simply put, we don’t have sex often anymore.

I can’t help it, she’s still the same person -but face it, I can’t have intercourse with her mind, I’m stuck with what she’s turned her body into, and it just doesn’t do it for me anymore.

She looks unhealthy, she acts unhealthy (always tired no matter how much sleep she gets, naps all the time, eats twice as much as I do but does is 1% as active as I am, etc.), I just can’t bring myself to get around by the jiggling fat I see whenever she takes a step; Or the way my hands sink several inches into her sides if I grab her by the hips, or the way her butt sags around my fingers when I pick her up etc.

I like a woman to have a certain level of respect for her own body, being obese is not only unattractive, it is also life-threateningly unhealthy.

You only have one body, why would you treat it like a trash compactor?

If you can’t respect your own body, how can you expect men to? Obesity is recognized instinctively as a bad thing, people cringe when they see a giant oompa-loompa lumbering through the grocery store.

It’s unhealthy, it’s not going to help you win any guys over. Fact.

So why do you keep eating a tub of ice cream every time you watch a movie?

Seriously..

of course “fit” women would fit the survival of the fittest bill. but i do have to point something out… there is a such thing as “skinny fat”. oh yes.. the girl who starves herself and is flabby but has nothing on her because she is “starving”. then there are bigger girls who are strong as hell and they tend to never get sick, and are maybe slightly overweight by a few pounds. i am sure you are aware of people like this..
so you talk about being programmed to find the fittest, but buuuuut… you men sure jump to the “visual” aspects as the #1 thing you look for when pertaining to this. skinny doesn’t necessarily mean “fit”.

i am very confused.

if it’s because you want control over a woman.. well you better step back and take a look at your worth and wonder why you would want to control or be more dominant than anybody. we are all equal…and if you can’t see past a few extra pounds, you are seriously unevolved and will be paired with people of the same calibre.

i am in no means talking crap about skinny women either. some can’t help it. but truth be told, the ones who show it off that i know are usually the ones that have disorders and are starving for attention. it comes across as confidence because they are desperate. so good luck with those women and having a relationship.

health should always be first, i agree. but for alot of the men who posted here.. they would rather the girl fit their list, than be healthy.

What sensible ‘guy’ would want to marry you or have your kids at that point?

This is my second time being married and I can honestly say, after this, I’m done. I will never marry again. I’m not religious so there really is no purpose for a marriage other then ownership…..and whoever says that’s not true is full of it because as soon as the divorce begins then it’s a fight, tooth and nail to see who’s going to get what and how much.

Marriage most definitely take all the fun out of the game.

I was anorexic at seventeen after a childhood of never actually being overweight, but always at the brink. I do think bones are very beautiful and I find it very difficult to look at myself with my ‘healthy’ weight and find peace in that. People did talk to me a lot more and I got a lot more sex when I was on the lower side of normal weight. But when I was underweight, I got people looking at me in disgust as they might do an overweight person. It is so unnecessary.

Have an opinion on it, but don’t claim to have the ‘right’ one.. It’s an opinion.